Thursday, July 4, 2013

Opportunity

HEY SCIENTISTS!

Feeling out of the rat race?
Lost in those interminable development meetings?
Want to conceptualize a game plan to bring real value to your organization?

The Biotech DEFENSIVE MBATM can help! Learn the latest lingo straight from the horses' mouths.
Get engaged in that next strategy session.
Move your career AHEAD with a world-class approach.

Skills learned in the Biotech DEFENSIVE MBATM may include:

  • Using bold print and CAPITAL LETTERS to drive home action items.
  • Speaking in short imperatives.
  • How to keep those $2,000 suits looking pressed and fresh*
  • Speaking for long intervals (without saying much of anything).
  • Condensing complex thoughts into bullet points for easier intellectual digestion.

A can't-miss, proactive,
paradigm-shift, life-changing,
highly-hyphenated
opportunity
Special topics for the Biotech DEFENSIVE MBATM include:

  • Outsourcing and You: The Inevitable, Looming Shadow
  • Hey, that R&D Line Item Costs a Lot...What Do You Do, Again?
  • Have Fun at Your Summer Conference; I'll Be on My Yacht
  • Did We Mention Bullet Points?

Be proactive! Learn to play hardball with the think-outside-the-box-crowd. Act today, and we'll even send you the math quiz at no additional charge:

From high school to completion, an MBA can be earned in as little as 5 years. A Ph.D. chemist - with postdoc - averages 11 years. 

  1. Who wins this scenario? 
  2. Do you suppose there's any difference in starting salary?
  3. What would the chemist do if she could have those 6 years back? Discuss.

The Biotech DEFENSIVE MBATM is enrolling now.** 
Don't delay, take control of your future TODAY!

(Note for the humorless: This is satire.)

*Step 1: Wear suit. Step 2: Stop working in that dirty old lab.
**Program completely booked up for the year. Maybe you can take on an internship or another post-doc while you wait?

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